I have to say that 2010 has been a really trying year for me. Work and personal life were both afffected in great measures. Overall, I do admit that as hard as it was, I think that it was a year that pushed me to be a better person. There were many events along the way that have been fun and exciting, boring and lame, trying and ridiculous. But I will touch only on the key things here.
On the work front : taking on a dual-portfolio with more add-ons has taken up literally each weekday for me. Going home from work at 7pm almost everyday became a norm (I was worried that I became too attached to the idea of going back when it is dark already. In East Malaysia, it gets dark by 6.30pm). Yes, work was a constant challenge for me this year. In fact, I started my new roles in December 2009 and never looked back since. If there was an ocean in the middle of my office, I would probably be the one struggling to stay afloat in it everyday). No doubt, my colleagues had their equal share of calamities too. But usually, the sharks were circling around me most of the time.
Sometimes I feel like I am doing everything and anything (which is probably accurate in many instances). The fact that we were short-handed did not help the cause as well. And I pretty much learned a lot of things about the business on the spot. Major events happened this year for the company as well and we were thrown right into the middle of it. So that was tough. I can't believe that we are over and done with all those projects. It is a good-bad feel. I guess deep down I was looking for credit dues but it did not come. Perhaps I should wait a while longer. Next year, it is a new role for me again and I wonder what will become of me by then. Let's just hope I do get to have some "work life balance" for a change.
On the personal front : There was/is an emotional scar that remains constant in my heart. It was very difficult to deal with but I have slowly come to accept it and let the course of life flow as it wishes. I am glad though that of late, this scar has soften down and I can smile again.
The emotional scar that will last me forever is when my dad passed away on 20th March. It was the kind of thing that I thought would never ever happen (well not so soon anyways) to me. But it did and it was very sudden. I fel that I have not yet proven to him that I can stand on my own. I only needed more time. But God did not see it that way. I don't blame him or anyone. Well, except for the doctors at that specialist centre who gave him a sudden change of dosage than his usual (which we suspect is the root cause of his sudden internal organ failures). Oh well, no blame game or retribution will ever bring him back. I guess I have to just try and move on and live with the fond memories. I love you Dad and I miss you very much and always will.
I do thank all those who came and visit us during the wake and the funeral. The prayers and support given to my mom particularly was really amazing. All that love from people around us. And I thank my close friends, relatives who carried me and my family in their thoughts during that trying period.
THANK YOU, to my colleagues/friends who put together the condonlence message for me in the paper :-
Rodhiana L. Roji-Max, Lloyd Dennis, Phillip Dumol, John Tuggang Jeli, Freddy Godeng, White R. Menggin, Mark Haliry, Shirley Gregory, Zainuddin Salleh, Zainulabidin Ismail, Hatta Mansor, Mathew Lutu, Zaini Wasli, Unyat Dollah, Joe Tan, Charles Nsali, Richrard Martin, Lita Adam, Vincent Wong, Debie J. Kalip, Ricky Ribuh, Bonnie Bilal, Poly Lai, Matzini Yusoffe, Maria Rina Js, Maggie Kelimen, Sylvia Esau, Nyambar Lungai, Manoj Menon, Veronica Belenyun N., Amelia Harry, Collin Lester Koh, Siva Mailvalingam, Chai Ko Su.
Dear God, I pray that you bless each and everyone of my friends and relatives whom have equally blessed us and prayed for us, and have thought about us throughout this trying period. I pray that the new year would be a safe and wonderful year for each one of us. Thank you for your blessings, thank you for your mercy and kindness, thank you for your strength, and thank you for your love.
Goodbye 2010. See you soon, 2011.
