2010 - The Bitter-Sweet Year

I have to say that 2010 has been a really trying year for me. Work and personal life were both afffected in great measures. Overall, I do admit that as hard as it was, I think that it was a year that pushed me to be a better person. There were many events along the way that have been fun and exciting, boring and lame, trying and ridiculous. But I will touch only on the key things here.

On the work front : taking on a dual-portfolio with more add-ons has taken up literally each weekday for me. Going home from work at 7pm almost everyday became a norm (I was worried that I became too attached to the idea of going back when it is dark already. In East Malaysia, it gets dark by 6.30pm). Yes, work was a constant challenge for me this year. In fact, I started my new roles in December 2009 and never looked back since. If there was an ocean in the middle of my office, I would probably be the one struggling to stay afloat in it everyday). No doubt, my colleagues had their equal share of calamities too. But usually, the sharks were circling around me most of the time.

Sometimes I feel like I am doing everything and anything (which is probably accurate in many instances). The fact that we were short-handed did not help the cause as well. And I pretty much learned a lot of things about the business on the spot. Major events happened this year for the company as well and we were thrown right into the middle of it. So that was tough. I can't believe that we are over and done with all those projects. It is a good-bad feel. I guess deep down I was looking for credit dues but it did not come. Perhaps I should wait a while longer. Next year, it is a new role for me again and I wonder what will become of me by then. Let's just hope I do get to have some "work life balance" for a change.

On the personal front : There was/is an emotional scar that remains constant in my heart. It was very difficult to deal with but I have slowly come to accept it and let the course of life flow as it wishes. I am glad though that of late, this scar has soften down and I can smile again.

The emotional scar that will last me forever is when my dad passed away on 20th March. It was the kind of thing that I thought would never ever happen (well not so soon anyways) to me. But it did and it was very sudden. I fel that I have not yet proven to him that I can stand on my own. I only needed more time. But God did not see it that way. I don't blame him or anyone. Well, except for the doctors at that specialist centre who gave him a sudden change of dosage than his usual (which we suspect is the root cause of his sudden  internal organ failures). Oh well, no blame game or retribution will ever bring him back. I guess I have to just try and move on and live with the fond memories. I love you Dad and I miss you very much and always will.

I do thank all those who came and visit us during the wake and the funeral. The prayers and support given to my mom particularly was really amazing. All that love from people around us. And I thank my close friends, relatives who carried me and my family in their thoughts during that trying period.

THANK YOU, to my colleagues/friends who put together the condonlence message for me in the paper :-

Rodhiana L. Roji-Max, Lloyd Dennis, Phillip Dumol, John Tuggang Jeli, Freddy Godeng, White R. Menggin, Mark Haliry, Shirley Gregory, Zainuddin Salleh, Zainulabidin Ismail, Hatta Mansor, Mathew Lutu, Zaini Wasli, Unyat Dollah, Joe Tan, Charles Nsali, Richrard Martin, Lita Adam, Vincent Wong, Debie J. Kalip, Ricky Ribuh, Bonnie Bilal, Poly Lai, Matzini Yusoffe, Maria Rina Js, Maggie Kelimen, Sylvia Esau, Nyambar Lungai, Manoj Menon, Veronica Belenyun N., Amelia Harry, Collin Lester Koh, Siva Mailvalingam, Chai Ko Su.

 

Dear God, I pray that you bless each and everyone of my friends and relatives whom have equally blessed us and prayed for us, and have thought about us throughout this trying period. I pray that the new year would be a safe and wonderful year for each one of us. Thank you for your blessings, thank you for your mercy and kindness, thank you for your strength, and thank you for your love.

Goodbye 2010. See you soon, 2011.

Ulat Mulung

I was in Mukah several weeks ago for work. It is still that quaint little town by the river and sea that I remember it to be. I had the opportunity to stop at the fish market to get some much-missed fish, like the Terubok (need to know more? google it for gawdsake). Yea, the terubok is a Sarawakian favourite. Not much of them left in the waters though because of excessive fishing in the Sarawak Rivers (so I read somewhere). 

Anyways, what I was keen to find as well, was the Ulat Mulung. You know? Ooo-lat Moo-long? Ok, another name for it is Rhynchophorus Ferrugineus (damn that was hard to type!).

Here's the Ulat Mulung...

So, I finally got my hands on some Ulat Mulung, but the smoked type. When I got home, I tried it and it was superb. However, I had to stop because I was getting rashes. Damn it. So, if you ever have a chance to try this sago worm, you should. It's high in cholesterol though -- not really a healthy food. But try it. Am sure you'd like the squirmy things going in your mouth and into your belly.

Hee. uChickenshit.







I-works

I actually wrote this down for my profile but blogspot only gives you 1200 characters. So okay, I write here then-lah.

I once applied to do Law but was rejected. Eventually, I decided to take up Mass Comm (cos all my classmates decided to do that). Secretly, I applied to do Criminology (and Law again), just for the heck of it. When I got into Mass Comm, I also got my reply for the other two applications - both accepted. But then I decided to stick to MC. This was in '92-'93.

In '95, I did a 3-month stint as a midday newsreader with a local community radio station in Melb (also as part of my journalism industrial training) - I spoke on the phone with Paul Keating (err, hooray?). A year later, i decided to pack-up and head back to my home country, Sarawak (oops, I mean, Malaysia).

Thereafter, I began my journey as a junior writer with an international highbrows magazine. I remember hating my sister for getting me that job (away from home too!) -- yea still got a bit of the scars to remember that brutal afternoon when I punched a wall in anger -- you see, I really wanted to be a bum for a while after years of studying. In retrsopect, I do owe her for launching my career.

So, along the way I was offered a job with a PR firm as an “information manager” (really – as a ghost /propaganda writer). I took it because it gave me the opportunity to move back home again. I didn't realised that my "home" was going to be months of travelling through towns and remote areas, doing covert propaganda work. The pay was great and at 23, I thought I had the best of everything (I was single and I had a sports car. Hmm.). But soon, something bad happened -- I had a conscience. I started hating what I was propagating. So I quit. Years later, this was going to haunt me back.

After I quit, for three years, I went through a limbo – owning a pro-shop, doing work for a government agency, brand managing a band, etc. Eventually, I somehow landed back with the same PR firm (although this time they’ve expanded into an empire of sorts - "IT" became a huge academic institution). Remember when I quit once before? Well I think it was payback time. My boss, decided to cut my pay (and the reason was because I hadn't bought a car yet to do marketing. I mean, WTF?). He gave half of it to three fresh grads that he hired. They're job? Was to do my job (because they had transport). I guess economically it made sense to get three people to do one person's job, but who gave a f*ck. So I quit. Until today I still curse him occassionally just so that I feel better about the whole thing.

Anyway, I bummed for a few months until one day, I met my former editor from the highbrows magazine at a train station. He asked me if I wanted to do some editorial work for them, so I said “why not?” since I was a bum.  That was November 2003. I never looked back since. Eventually, I became the senior writer there. 

Few years later, I took a risk and ventured into (what was still quite new in Malaysia then) the world of online interactive magazines. By early 2007, I was headhunted by a Singapore media conglomerate, to head an international men’s magazine as its editor. I stayed on and enjoyed every moment of it, until one day, the mighty Red and Yellow came knocking. By end of 2008, I sealed the deal and sold my soul to them. I perservered since then. 

That’s the story so far…

[Note: I'm just writing this entry to fill-up my blogspace. It's not to disgrace anyone. Well, except my ex-(prick-of-a) boss!]

Taking A Piss At Life!



Oit! Where da tequila??!



Yes, it happens to most of us -- even the best. We all go down that gloomy road one day and think that everything is just trying to squash us. Oh, wait. I'm actually talking about being drunk. What were you thinking about? Gosh.

So yea, I get a chance to get pissed once in a while (ahem). But I think it's all okay -- if you're a drinker. If I was a sober freak, perhaps I would go down the gloomy road drinking "teh tarik". Maybe.

But getting pissed is something I desire when I go to the pubs. I would tell myself "I'm going to the pubs to at least get high. Not tipsy, but HIGH." Yeah! Know why? Because it's bad enough that you gotta have to face all sorts of crazy things when you're not drunk. So might as well compound it all with several glasses of beers, whiskey, tequila...you name it!

So if life is taking a piss out of you (like wrenching something precious from your life), then you should reciprocate by taking a piss out of life. Fair deal. As long as you're happy.

[Note: No one was drunk in the making of this entry. *burp*]

Life's Tiny Little Questions

So, finally I got some stuff from Reader's Digest (at the expense of burning a hole in my card); and one of them is this 464-page book called "Imponderables" - the answers to the most perplexing and amusing mysteries of everday life. Hmm...we shall see...

I have to hand it to David Feldman (author), that this is really an interesting book. It has questions and answers (amusing ones too), to stuff about people, animal, food and drink, customs and practices, machines and devices, everyday stuff, science and nature, sport. For people that think too much (like me), this is a good book to keep us occupied.

I'm still at the "People" section and already I'm finding things like "Why is pubic hair curly?" drawing me further into the book. The answer to it was "Pubic hair is curly because it is genetically made in a flat shape rather than in a round shape..." my my, Dr Joseph P Bark (who gave the answer) must've spent some time analysing pubic hairs. I'm more curious about his job after reading this piece about pubic hair. See where this "Imponderables" take you? It'll never end. You will keep pondering and pondering. Great!

Okay, back to za book - great so far! Didn't regret purchasing it at all! I do have a question though: which section does "heartaches" come under?

Happy Birthday, dad.

10.10.10 - for many, this is an auspicious date. Likewise, many consider this as a bad date. Others just don't give a hoot. For me, it is special. Because it's my dad's birthday. Of course, he is not around to celebrate it. He passed on rather suddenly on 14 March this year after suffering a short, perplexing, surprising, illness. I miss him terribly but I don't think it shows on my face or through my actions. Deep in my heart I'm crying constantly. I feel sad for my mom most of all. More than four decades as a married couple and so suddenly, one is no more present. People say that it's in the first two years that you are at your most vulnerable after the passing of a loved one. Why two years? Oh well. I pray that she would continue to be strong. We are always around for her and so are her friends and relatives. I wish for all of my siblings that they would stay strong. As for me, I pray that I stay grounded like him. But I also wish that my life is not entangled with so much emotion.

Anyway, that's for another chat.

Happy birthday, dad. You make 10.10.10 super-awesome for me. Love you always.

Question: What happened?

It's been a week and three days. The last time I heard of any news was a Monday 13th, and the message said that it has been a tough weekend and that some peace and quiet / alone-time was needed. Probably a few days. Being conscious and thinking it was out of care, I said okay. Not knowing that it was probably just a ploy to avoid me. What happened? I don't know. It all must have transpired over that one "tough" weekend.

The days continue without sound.